This year I made the executive decision that Geekygirl was too young to really care what she dressed up as for halloween, and that we were too busy to take her out on a weekend to a costume store to select one for herself. Instead I picked up a cute 'bumble bee fairy' costume in Target well in advance of halloween, congratulating myself on avoiding the usual last minute scrambling through the sale racks for something suitable, and finding something that she would like, since she loves insects. Well she used to love insects. The costume was tried on and approved , and even enjoyed and worn last week to our local 'pumpkin walk'.
But rumblings of dissent had started a few days earlier. On the way home from daycare one day I heard "Sean is going to be a dinosaur for halloween. I going to be a kitty". The daycare teachers must have planted the seed that children get to choose what they want to be for halloween, rather than have constumes thrust on them by their parents. I must have a word with them about that.
"I thought you were going to be a bumble bee fairy?" I replied. "I want to be kitty" she retorted. "Hmm, a kitty would be a nice costume, maybe next year" I said mildly, hoping to diffuse the desire.
But every morning and evening Geekygirl would look at her pretty bumble bee costume sitting on the shelf and say "Whats that Mummy". The reply was always "That's your bumble bee fairy costume for halloween". And every day she would reply "I don't want to be bumble bee fairy. I want to be kitty to Halloween." Each day the fantasy seemed to get more vivid: "a fluffy kitty", "A pink fluffy kitty", "A pink, fluffy kitty with a long tail". It was amazing to me to see how she was envisioning herself in a kitty costume, that she had a vivid mental picture of how she wanted to look. But what was I going to do about it?
This was a real parenting dilemma; on one hand I wanted to encourage my daughter's imagination and share her fantasy, and get her a perfect kitty costume. On the other hand she already had a costume and I didn't want to over indulge her and teach her that she can have whatever she asks for at the drop of a hat. I decided not to hunt for another costume. But I found myself nipping out from work to buy lunch at places that "just happened" to be next to target, or Walgreens, or toysRus, and popping in "just in case" they had the perfect cat costume sitting on the rack. But no luck. I was resigned to persuading her to be a miserable bumble bee fairy, when I recalled a post on our neighborhood parents Yahoo group a week or so back advertising a kitty cat costume for sale. I hunted through my email trash, found the message, called my neighbor and sure enough she still had the costume for sale. We stopped at her house on the way home and I picked up the costume. Geekgirl was thrilled. "Its pink and fluffy!" she exclaimed from her carseat. On further examination "It has ears!", and then a few moments later "It has a LONG TAIL!".
The kitty costume has been worn every night since we got it. Geekygirl is throwing herself into her cat persona, scratching and licking her paws, and is so excited about being a kitty at daycare today. My trip to Barcelona was mercifully canceled so I get to enjoy the holiday with the family. Now, if only the rain will let up by tonight, maybe this will be a perfect halloween after all!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
the kindess of subaru dealers
Like the working mum protagonist of 'I Don't Know How She Does It' by Allison Pearson, I have a constantly running list in my head of tasks to be checked off. This morning top of the list was 'take car for service'. At 147,000 miles our trusty subaru outback deserves a nice oil change once in a while.
The morning started off OK, out of the house by 7.45, at the dealership by 8.30, at the rental car office by 8.40, on track for being in the office by 9.00am, when a fatal flaw in the plan was revealed. Item 103 on my mental list "replace old expired drivers license in wallet with brand spanking new one that arrived last week in the mail" had not been checked off. The rental company shuttled me back to the Subaru dealership, where I called my boss to let him know why I would not be in the office, and prepared to wait for three hours with only a back issue of Marie Claire for entertainment.
Just then, Howard the mechanic and now my hero, stuck his head around the waiting room door and provided me with a shiny new Subaru to borrow for the day! So I made it to the office after all. Now I'm just hoping they don't find anything too expensive wrong with the car.
The morning started off OK, out of the house by 7.45, at the dealership by 8.30, at the rental car office by 8.40, on track for being in the office by 9.00am, when a fatal flaw in the plan was revealed. Item 103 on my mental list "replace old expired drivers license in wallet with brand spanking new one that arrived last week in the mail" had not been checked off. The rental company shuttled me back to the Subaru dealership, where I called my boss to let him know why I would not be in the office, and prepared to wait for three hours with only a back issue of Marie Claire for entertainment.
Just then, Howard the mechanic and now my hero, stuck his head around the waiting room door and provided me with a shiny new Subaru to borrow for the day! So I made it to the office after all. Now I'm just hoping they don't find anything too expensive wrong with the car.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
halloween twins
The Halloween season has begun in earnest. Our costumes got their first outing at a party hosted by my friends K. and J. prior to the neighbourhood 'pumpkin walk'. Carved pumpkins are placed in the community garden, and kids and adults get to enjoy a bit of spooky fun.
K. and I met when we were heavily pregnant in a baby care class at the hospital where we delivered. In retrospect it was quite funny, a class full of professionals in their late 30's being taught by a sweet Berkeley mom subtly emphasising her co sleeping/babywearing/cloth diapering philosophy, to diaper plastic dolls and put them in slings. The class must have been effective, since our girls survived and thrived on our mothering (despite being diapered in disposables and sleeping in cribs. We did at least carry them in slings.) Two and half years later we and our little girls are fast friends.
And we did not plan our costumes together, honestly!
K. and I met when we were heavily pregnant in a baby care class at the hospital where we delivered. In retrospect it was quite funny, a class full of professionals in their late 30's being taught by a sweet Berkeley mom subtly emphasising her co sleeping/babywearing/cloth diapering philosophy, to diaper plastic dolls and put them in slings. The class must have been effective, since our girls survived and thrived on our mothering (despite being diapered in disposables and sleeping in cribs. We did at least carry them in slings.) Two and half years later we and our little girls are fast friends.
And we did not plan our costumes together, honestly!
Monday, October 27, 2008
garden party
One of the reasons we have parties is to force us to tidy up. Saturday was spent in a whirlwind of organizing. Geekdaddy was in charge of shopping for last minute necessities (who knew that Whole Foods refuse to sell maraschino cherries because they consider them unwholesome?. Party poopers!), making the marinades and setting up the bar. I tidied and cleaned, using the opportunity to get all the toys into their respective organizer bins (dolly's clothes, baby dollies, toy pots and pans, vehicles, legos, baby rattles, soft toys, puzzles). While geekybaby took his morning nap, and Geekgirl was ensconsed with her Charlie and Lola DVD I got the whole place ship shape, with enough of the aesthetically attractive yet inviting toys displayed to entice the small guests, but not so much hideous noisy plastic tat on display that we would horrify the childless guests.
Then I heard a gasp of horror from Geekydaddy, returned from his garnish gathering. Geekydog, who up until now had been treating the new yard with respect, had attacked and uprooted one of the newly planted euphorbias! Dirt and roots covered the previously perfect patio. And to add insult to injury, we found that orange geek the cat had peed on the kitchen counter. We think the nasty beast was expressing his anger that he was unable to get to the salmon skin in the counter top composting bin.
We cleaned up after our errant animals in time for the first guests to arrive. My mood was much improved by Geekydaddy's most excellent pina coladas, The barbequed chicken and shrimp were just perfect, and a great time was had by guests both large and small.
Though we are realizing that the decorative pebbles our garden designer used between the patio slabs, though they do look very stylish, are not the best choice for a garden frequented by toddlers, especially toddlers whose parents are drinking pina coladas. Inspection of the lawn the next day revealed that the pebbly contents of the patio had been collected and rolled down the slide into a big heap in the grass!
Then I heard a gasp of horror from Geekydaddy, returned from his garnish gathering. Geekydog, who up until now had been treating the new yard with respect, had attacked and uprooted one of the newly planted euphorbias! Dirt and roots covered the previously perfect patio. And to add insult to injury, we found that orange geek the cat had peed on the kitchen counter. We think the nasty beast was expressing his anger that he was unable to get to the salmon skin in the counter top composting bin.
We cleaned up after our errant animals in time for the first guests to arrive. My mood was much improved by Geekydaddy's most excellent pina coladas, The barbequed chicken and shrimp were just perfect, and a great time was had by guests both large and small.
Though we are realizing that the decorative pebbles our garden designer used between the patio slabs, though they do look very stylish, are not the best choice for a garden frequented by toddlers, especially toddlers whose parents are drinking pina coladas. Inspection of the lawn the next day revealed that the pebbly contents of the patio had been collected and rolled down the slide into a big heap in the grass!
Friday, October 24, 2008
happy birthday to me
Tomorrow I turn 38. In honor of this momentous day we are having a little party in our newly remodeled backyard. This seemed like a good idea two weeks ago, but now I'm wondering if my advanced age would be better celebrated more quietly and cheaply, with a dinner, a bottle of wine and a day spent of getting on top of the laundry piles threatening to take over the closets after my weekend playing hooky in Vegas.
But the evites have been sent, the yard has been professionally weeded and mowed, two climbers are assembled on the lawn for the small guests, the bar is stocked for the big ones and paper plates and extra lawn chairs have been found. (Why is it so hard to find lawn chairs in San Francisco in October? It drives me crazy that the stores are full of winter coats and christmas decorations, when it is "indian summer" season here, and 85 degrees outside!)
So I guess we are having a party! Cheers.
But the evites have been sent, the yard has been professionally weeded and mowed, two climbers are assembled on the lawn for the small guests, the bar is stocked for the big ones and paper plates and extra lawn chairs have been found. (Why is it so hard to find lawn chairs in San Francisco in October? It drives me crazy that the stores are full of winter coats and christmas decorations, when it is "indian summer" season here, and 85 degrees outside!)
So I guess we are having a party! Cheers.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
a sweet sibling moment.
I know that siblings can have very different personalities, and that being related to someone doesn't mean that you will get along well with them, but I do hope that my two kids will become close, and enjoy each others company. I love my own two siblings; of course we fought as children, but most of the time we got along really well, and do to this day. I want this for my children too.
To this end, avid reader that I am, I got hold of 'siblings without rivalry' by adele faber and elaine mazlish. I rave about this book to other parents, because there have been so many occasions where I have used their advice, and been amazed by the effectiveness. They believe that your parenting style can affect how well your kids interact with each other (Though make no claims to make them love each other all the time!) I was reminded again of how glad I am to have read this book during a little exchange with geekygirl last night and this morning. To put this in context I have just returned from a weekend in Vegas for the bachelorette party of a dear friend. The kids were home alone with dad, and despite remaining in their pyjamas for 48 hrs, had a pretty good time without me. Mummy's attention is at a premium now that I am back, though.
Last night I was drying geekygirl after her tub, when she said to me
"can we put geekybaby away?"
My natural instinct (after laughing a little) would be to respond with a "no, he lives here too, and he's your brother, you love your brother, right?"
But primed by "siblings" who tell you that all of your childrens' feelings are acceptable and should not be denied, and that by allowing the very natural negative feelings about each other to be voiced, the kids ultimately get along better, I empathized instead: "it can be hard to have a brother sometimes. Do you wish it could be just you and mummy and daddy?"
"Yes", she nodded, "can we put him away?"
"Where should we put him?" I mused. "In the cupboard?" That idea was met with approval. I decided to test the deepness of her desire to be rid of her brother and asked "Should we leave him at daycare?". "No" said geekygirl emphatically, "I want to put him in a cup." "The cupboard?" I corrected. "No, a cup, a big cup." she replied, and with that rather adorable mental picture formed, we left off the conversation.
This morning, when we went in to get geekybaby up for the day she requested to give him a big hug, as she often does. This time she kissed him between the eyes and said "I love him soooo much"!
And my heart melted, of course!
To this end, avid reader that I am, I got hold of 'siblings without rivalry' by adele faber and elaine mazlish. I rave about this book to other parents, because there have been so many occasions where I have used their advice, and been amazed by the effectiveness. They believe that your parenting style can affect how well your kids interact with each other (Though make no claims to make them love each other all the time!) I was reminded again of how glad I am to have read this book during a little exchange with geekygirl last night and this morning. To put this in context I have just returned from a weekend in Vegas for the bachelorette party of a dear friend. The kids were home alone with dad, and despite remaining in their pyjamas for 48 hrs, had a pretty good time without me. Mummy's attention is at a premium now that I am back, though.
Last night I was drying geekygirl after her tub, when she said to me
"can we put geekybaby away?"
My natural instinct (after laughing a little) would be to respond with a "no, he lives here too, and he's your brother, you love your brother, right?"
But primed by "siblings" who tell you that all of your childrens' feelings are acceptable and should not be denied, and that by allowing the very natural negative feelings about each other to be voiced, the kids ultimately get along better, I empathized instead: "it can be hard to have a brother sometimes. Do you wish it could be just you and mummy and daddy?"
"Yes", she nodded, "can we put him away?"
"Where should we put him?" I mused. "In the cupboard?" That idea was met with approval. I decided to test the deepness of her desire to be rid of her brother and asked "Should we leave him at daycare?". "No" said geekygirl emphatically, "I want to put him in a cup." "The cupboard?" I corrected. "No, a cup, a big cup." she replied, and with that rather adorable mental picture formed, we left off the conversation.
This morning, when we went in to get geekybaby up for the day she requested to give him a big hug, as she often does. This time she kissed him between the eyes and said "I love him soooo much"!
And my heart melted, of course!
Monday, October 20, 2008
a meme for me!
My friend followthatdog at from mosh pits to mashed potatoes,(and also from stage dives to station wagons) tagged me for a meme. I get to tell you 6 random things about me, and I get this lovely award! Thanks, Followthatdog.
1. I wanted to be a vet, but I didn't get good enough 'A level' results to get into Veterinary college. Instead, I ended up developing drugs for people!
2. When I was about 18 months old I but my tongue almost in half, falling over while running away from my mum and dad who were trying to put me to bed. The hospital staff couldn't see what had happened through the blood and swelling, and determined that I had damaged my front teeth, so they removed two of them, one big front tooth and the one next to it. Then they realized that actually it was my tongue that was damaged (as my parents had told them in the first place). So I got to grow up with a gappy smile until my adult teeth arrived. And I still have a scar in my tongue.
3. I love horses. As a teenager I loved horses more than people. I wore my horseriding boots to school, and managed to put a drawing or description of a horse into every into assignment.
4. I love cars, but I didn't learn to drive until I was 30.
5. I met my husband at a 'bad taste clothing party'. I realized as we continued our relationship that he had not been in costume at the time.
6. The older I get the worse my music taste gets. I frequent a radio station that plays 80's big hair music like Journey, Bon Jovi, and Bonnie Tyler, and I sing along in my car at the top of my voice!
The tradition is to pass on the love, so I send it to:
wcsokmom
mommastantrum
roxandroll
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