The Gallery: Japan

This week's gallery asked for a post based on a single word of our choice.

The Gallery is a weekly photo prompt, do go over and check out all the other wonderful entries.

I picked the word "Japan", since I was looking for an excuse to share photos from my recent trip. Thanks Tara for such a flexible idea.

Mt Fuji from my hotel in Yokohama

I had always thought I would travel more. In my youth I did the standard interailing round Europe. I went a little further afield to visit a friend who worked in Cairo, and of course I ended up living and working here in San Francisco, but I had not really intended to stop here. San Francisco was supposed to be the launch of a life lived in stages in every country of the world. Real life got in the way, so here is where I have remained for fifteen years.

Last week though my company sent me to Japan for a few days. I had forgotten how much I love to travel. I soaked it up. The challenge and the satisfaction of negotiating the Tokyo metro system all alone. The gamble of ordering a completely random item for lunch based upon a picture in a menu written entirely in Japanese. It was exhilarating. I love new places because they remind me of how similar we all are in the world. Tokyo is like London and New York but yet at the same time so different and so unique. Surrounded by symbols that were incomprehensible to me, but yet familiar and meaningful to everyone around me was a thought provoking experience. Written language is so powerful, without it I felt disconnected from the city in a way I didn't in Paris or Barcelona, or other cities where at least the symbols of the language, if not the words themselves, are familiar. Is this how our preschoolers feel as they try to learn to read?

This is supposed to be a picture post, so I will let my pictures tell the rest of the story:

little girl in hello kitty face mask; I'd never get my kids to keep one of these on, hello kitty themed or not

Tokyo from the Asakusa view hotel

Asakusa at night 

 Sensoji Temple, Asakua

 More Senoji Temple Views

Shinjuku (by the red light district). I wonder what these say?!

 Early Cherry Blossoms in the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden (新宿御苑)

Over at Pond Parleys Mike reminded us of this wonderful quot, which rang so true for me on the trip.

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.  Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime".

– Mark Twain

been there, seen that, bought the T shirt

I had a funny conversation with Geekygirl this evening. It began with her asking about breasts and the fact that I have them and she doesn't.  (The fact that she was drawn to talk about mine this evening makes me wonder if the shirts I unearthed during yesterdays closet cleanout are a bit too booblicious)

"I will grow breasts when I'm older, to feed my babies" she told me. I agreed "yes, and they will probably start to grow when you are about twelve years old".

"Then I will be grown up and I'll go away and live in a different house" she told me.

"Well, maybe when you are eighteen years old you will go away to college" I replied.

"Oh, I"m not going to college, Mummy" she said "I'm going to a different world. A world that isn't Earth".

"Really? You are going to outer space instead of college" I queried, "That is a long way away". It might even be cheaper in 2024 too.

I'm response she said "Don't worry, Mummy, I will buy you a T shirt".

I'm off on a week long business trip next week, and have been prepping the kids, so maybe that is where these musings on separation came from. I do always buy Geekydaddy a T shirt when I travel, the least I can do to compensate him for holding down the fort.

Still, sci fi geek that I am, I'm holding out hope that kids of Geekygirl's generation will actually get to visit other planets, and I look forward to the day I can walk around emblazoned with the slogan "My daughter went to Alpha Centuri, and all I got was this lousy T shirt".

Uk trip, part I

I wrote this post last week, from my parents cosy living room, but could not get my laptop to play nice with my Dad's broadband. So I'm posting it belatedly, since we have now returned to the USA:

We almost did it. We almost got from San Francisco to Buckinghamshire, anxious mum and rather highly strung child, without a single tear or tantrum.

We overcame the first potential pitfall, a serious packing oversight. As we checked in at a mercifully very quiet SFO I realized that I had forgotten “taggies” the beloved blanky. Geekygirl took this in her stride, she was surprisingly sanguine about the absence of this most precious comforter. I was much more concerned, knowing that there would be many challenging situations ahead of us that would be made much easier for a little wide eyed girl if she had the soothing sensation of taggies' well thumbed ribbons between her fingers. We didn’t even have any soft toys with us, so to assuage my guilt at being such a useless mummy (because really, forgetting the blanky, that is automatic failure of mum 101), we swiftly acquired a San Francisco Hello Kitty, a Webkins furry goat and a panda bear neck cushion as potential substitutes. Then, as we were sitting in the café, having checked in the recommended three hours early, my phone rang, and Geekydaddy was on the line. He had got home, grabbed taggies and returned to the airport. The security folk, always very pleasant at SFO, but now raised even higher in my esteem, walked taggies through to us. I got to give Geekydaddy and a now rather confused but still cheery Geekybaby another final wave, and we were truly set to go.

We had another tricky moment. Juggling the portable DVD player, and its headphone, my headphones and my own and Geekygirl’s dinner trays, I managed to knock a cup of water all over Geekygirl. Thankfully the DVD player (Borrowed), escaped the deluge, but Geekygirl was soaked. I had packed a change of clothing, but apparently had chosen an unacceptable shirt. Too small, too stripey and most critically, too scratchy. We were in trouble. I could feel her panic, hemmed into a plane seat with limited choices; no shirt, wet shirt, scratchy shirt. She was tired and worn thin with the effort of remaining calm and cheery for so long in the face of goodbyes, crowds, and too hot hot dogs. Then, we had the brilliant idea of wearing the shirt inside out, and with the bribery of a bit more DVD watching despite it being 10pm, the moment was saved and we were spared the wrath of the rest of the passengers who were hoping to sleep the rest of the way to the UK.

We were both able to get a bit of sleep, waking up with the rest of the plane an hour or so before landing. DVD player stowed for landing, we amused ourselves with the card game “war”, and got a lovely view of London as we flew down the Thames. The landing path took us right over my old College, and I caught a glimpse of the blue copper top of “Queen’s tower” in the main quad. I have such fond memories of my student days in London, and the sight of this, alongside the Royal Albert Hall, with my old biology department nestled in its shadow, energized me to get through the “de-planing” (I still say that is not a real word).

After a smooth landing (Though I’m always horrified by how close the plane comes to the residents of Hounslow), I packed up our scattered belongings (some still damp from the earlier dowsing), hustled Geekgirl into a clean pull up and found her shoes. She obligingly got them both on, we were about to exit our seat when she stood up and howled “My shoes are too small”, and tore them from her feet, crying hysterically. Belatedly, I tried to explain that our feet get a bit bigger while flying and that after walking about they would feel just fine, but no deal. She wasn’t going to put those shoes back on. What to do? I had a hefty back pack, my own purse, a duty free bag and a small “Finding Nemo” back pack to carry, but I could probably just about manage to carry a hysterical almost four year old too. But no, “I want my other shoes” she cried. My extensive preparation had not included packing an alternate pair of shoes in the carry on bags, and I was starting to feel pressured. “Is everyone off the plane?” The chief steward announced on the tannoy. “Two more to unload” our flight attended said back. She came over to us, I gave her a tight smile and let her know we would soon be on our way. She spoke to Geekygirl “What lovely socks” she said. Geekygirl was thrown off guard, and let the nice lady chat to her for a few seconds. I’ve noticed that these days Geekygirl is much better at gathering herself together in the face of adversity, and the intervention of the kind flight attendant redirected her, and gave her the chance to start the process over. She applied herself to her shoes again. “Ready?” I said and she exited the plane, the cleaning crew stepping aside for us.

Our stroller awaited us, friendly passport control officers welcomed us “home”, our bag and carseat eventually exited the carousel and with one hand pushing the stroller, the other dragging the baggage cart we exited into the arrivals lounge. Grandma and Granddad, instantly recognizable to Geekygirl through our weekly Skype-ing, though rather less pixilated, were waiting, and after only one wrong turn on our way to the M1 we made it to the Buckinghamshire village were I grew up. Journeys end was met with a lovely cup of tea for me and chocolate buttons for Geekygirl. We made it, and we are so happy to be here!

Get Packing

Geekygirl and I are going on our very first mother-daughter trip. The two of us are jet-setting over to England for the weekend. Well, we leave on Wednesday and return on Monday, a ridiculously short trip, but with only 15 days of vacation  a year, you do what you can. The occasion is our very first audience with the latest member of the extended Geekyfamily, my brother's brand new baby son.

So, I'm packing. I've packed the important documents;
Passport (UK) and green card (actually a beigey pink color) for me.
Passport (US) for Geekygirl (some day I will get around to getting British ones for the kids too).
Notarized letter from Geekydaddy giving me permission to take our daughter out of the country (to prove I am not kidnapping her from the US to a life of deprivation in the UK).
Copy of Geekygirl's birth certificate, proving that I am indeed her mother despite the fact that we have different last names (oh, the inconveniences of feminism).

I'm working on the hand luggage:
Optimistically, books for me (Kate Atkinson's "when will there be good news", and "Raising Girls" by Gisela Preuschoff). Who wants to bet that they will return home untouched?!
Books for Geekygirl - yet to be selected but will try to avoid hardbacks and board books, since I'm not bringing my pack mule (aka Geekydaddy).
Electronics; Leapster hand held game, mini DVD player, iphone with new "Diego" episodes freshly downloaded, and my toy, the Macbook.
Snacks, sippy cups, wipes, pull ups, colouring supplies, changes of clothing (at least 2, past experience tells me).
Small tacky toys with too many pieces, purchased to be doled out at intervals, scrabbled for underneath airplane seats every ten minutes, eventually lost for good - inducing hysteria and whose purchase will likely be regretted.

That sounds heavy, just writing it down, so may have to be rethought! My tendency to over pack the carry on bags for every eventuality (a pound of dried apricots, anyone?) once caused Geekydaddy to physically crumble, like Black Beauty under the whip, on the gangway while disembarking from a flight to Seattle. Ideas for other (light) things to amuse children on 10 hour flights are always appreciated!

The actual luggage is proving difficult. You see Geekygirl loves her clothes. When at home, she changes constantly. She can have 5 outfits on in the space of an hour. When listening to music she will pause it between songs for a costume change. She likes to mix and match her pajama bottoms with her swimsuit and a pair of wellies, or her ballet leotard with her snow boots, mittens and an old baby bonnet. She has quite a selection of dress up costumes too, but seems to take the most pleasure in "dressing up" in her regular clothes. The result of this is that the contents of her closet are permanently all over the floor, and it drives me nuts. I never know what is clean or dirty, so I vacillate between washing her entire wardrobe every week, or sweeping things from the floor back into the closet only to send her off to preschool in an oatmeal (or worse) encrusted T shirt. While I have been writing this post she has changed four six times already.

If she had her way I would pack everything she owns. I made the mistake once, when packing her bag for a Tahoe weekend, of only putting in the actual number of outfits a normal person would wear in two days. Oh, the horror of a weekend with a three year old girl with "nothing to wear"! Over Christmas, when were were again up in Tahoe in frigid snowy weather I had packed  a large selection, including her summer dresses and ballet gear, but was admonished for forgetting her swimsuit! I think my little fashionista and I have a bit of negotiating to do regarding what we pack.

Me, I only have a couple of outfits appropriate for January in Buckinghamshire, so don't need to put much thought into my packing.

I am very excited about this trip, it has been almost a year since I last saw my parents, siblings and friends. My mum and dad still live in the house we grew up in and there is something so satisfying and circular about seeing my kids asleep in my old room, now a gallery of my teenage pony art, and watching them play with our old toys, especially the fisher price A frame house and its little bobble headed occupants, which enchant our kids just as they did us. As well as the new nephew to meet, my sister and her brood of three gorgeous girls will come over. It sounds corny, but nothing makes us happier than to have the whole family back together in our childhood home. I predict that we may drink a little too much, break out the LP records and find ourselves dancing to Wham, Barry Manilow and Shaking Stevens into the small hours.  My dearest friend from childhood grew up on our street, and her family also still lives there, so we will get to spend some precious time together with her family too.

I'm sad, though, that I'm leaving Geekyboy and his dad at home, I'm going to miss them. Geekyboy is at an age where he will miss me, but not really understand that I'm coming back. He is also completely adorable, affectionate, and grappling with language in such a hilarious way (latest gem "Boobillies" for blueberries), and I want to show him off to everyone. I toyed with the idea of taking them both, but it would have been brutal for all concerned to drag an almost two year old from San Francisco to London and back again to meet a cousin he won't remember the next time he sees anyway.

I'm also apprehensive about traveling as the lone responsible adult in our party, and rather worried about the enhanced security procedures. Still, one advantage of traveling with an almost four year old who potty trained rather late and wears a pull up at night is that she has no qualms about peeing in a diaper, so the "no getting up for the last hour or two of the flight" shouldn't bother her (I, with my post two baby bladder, am another story. Better pack extra pull ups!) I'm worried that the rigid security requirements will cause my sensitive child to get scared and upset, that they will take her blanky away for the last part of the flight, or even worse, the iphone. Better brush up on my "I spy" skills.

I'm sure it will be fine, it really is quite an easy trip and I have done it many times, but I'll be glad when we get there. England, here we come!

first hike of summer on the last day of summer

We finally managed to get out and hike this labor day weekend. Hiking used to be a regular weekend activity for us, something we did without much thought or preparation, but two kids later this is quite a feat, involving two sturdy kid back packs, one dog back pack, and one good friend to walk said dog, and carry our lunches. We took a lovely trail along a winding creek, leading to an open meadow with a lake view. The Tahoe area has so much forest and open space to explore, it is one of the things I love most about California, so much unspoiled natural beauty.

The kids loved it, and even managed to walk quite a lot of the way, pretending to be "Dora", exploring, and picking up "magic rocks" comparing the textures of different tree bark and examining different types of animal poop. They were so sweet, sitting on jackets and enjoying their picnic lunch, pointing out birds and insects. Apart from the brief moment when Geekydog decided to attack a fellow hikers golden retriever, it was idyllic. What took us so long to get out like this, after all we go up to Tahoe almost every other weekend?

I was pondering this, when I realized it was part of a bigger question. One that I often get asked, as a parent of two kids close in age. "Does having two kids change your life in a way having just one doesn't?"

When I was planning for baby number two I asked other parents of two (or more) this question, and was surprised by how polarized the responses were. I heard either "One kid changes your life so dramatically that having another makes almost no difference" or "Two kids is so much more work than just one, it seems like more than double the effort"

I've formed my own opinion based on our experience and on observing others. I think that the impact of adding a second child depends on how much you changed your life for the first one. You see, when Geekygirl came into our lives we didn't make all that many concessions to parenthood. Long hikes in the Tahoe national forests in the summer? Buy a baby backpack and bring her along. Cross country skiing? Buy a "pulk" for her to be bundled up and towed in (weather permitting, of course). Downhill skiing? Take it in turns, one parent skiing, and one parent looking after the baby in lodge, the resorts even provide a "parent exchange" pass for this purpose. Conferences in Aspen or Washington DC? Bring husband and baby along. Even while pregnant with Geekyboy I was skiing, towing Geekygirl in that pulk, and hiking with the backpack.

So when Geekyboy arrived, we were expecting to carry on much the same. But gradually we noticed that this time there would be some significant lifestyle changes. Two kids in daycare is like having another mortgage (and we already have two mortgages), so our freedom to spend away on more hiking packs and ski trailers was curtailed. Also with one kid, the adults can take it in turns carrying the pack, but with two kids too small to hike far alone, and just two adults to carry, there is no one to share the load. With two adults and one child, long distance travel is not too hard, but with two little ones neither adult gets a moment of peace, and it gets expensive too. This did not stop us from taking the whole family to South Africa, mind you.

Thanks to the generosity of a co worker who gave me a hiking pack that his children have outgrown, and to our dear friend Stan who shouldered the 28lb burden that is geekyboy for a few miles, we finally got out to hike, and it was well worth it.

Now I just need to negotiate a good price on a second hand double ski pulk. And build up a little more towing strength before ski season!

Air travel, anniversaries and attacks of vomiting

The geekyfamily have just returned safely from an exhilarating, exhausting and stomach content expelling trip to my homeland, England.

The occasion was the Ruby Wedding celebration of my lovely mum and dad, but any trip to the UK, rare as they are for us these days, must be filled to the brim with catch up visits to as many friends as can be squeezed in, so we had a packed schedule. We arrived on the Thursday, on the overnight flight from SFO to Heathrow. Geekdaddy managed to negotiate the roundabouts and highways driving on the other side of the road, and we made it to my parents house, always such a pleasure to visit since it is also my childhood home. Well, since the ejection of us kids, it has transformed into a far more elegant and well furnished version of the home I knew, complete with a floral masterpiece of a garden my mum should enter into competitions. All the old toys we knew and loved are still there though, and the kids felt instantly at home and got stuck into playing the fisher price A frame house, with all its tiny bobble headed occupants.

Friday the kids were settled enough with Grandad and Grandma that we had the luxury of leaving them in their capable hands. We took the train into London to meet up with my college friends. It had been so long since I had been in the city, the place where I went to study at age 18 and as well as learning a lot about Biochemistry, began my adult journey through the world of love, friendship, heartbreak and hard partying. We had a wonderful evening of good food and great stories. Either our eyes are failing, or we all still look fabulous. I'm voting for the latter. The kids did great, the only incident arose from an American/English translation. Geekygirl told grandma she wanted to go to the potty. Grandma heard instead that she wanted to go to the 'party'. And told her that she could go tomorrow! My confused daughter exclaimed "but I need to go pee pee", at which the misunderstanding became apparent and thankfully no accidents ensued!

Saturday was the day of the party. We spent the morning visiting my brother and his wife's elegant, charming new home, and preparing the powerpoint slides and speech we planned to give that evening. Back at my parents again the whirlwind of party prep was in full sway. Finally we were ready to go. Geekygirl, adorable in her lemon yellow party dress, having recovered in the nick of time from her travel induced constipation which almost threatened her attendance at the event. I was dressed up in a lovely silk dress and heels, and had just scooped up Geekybaby, handsome and sweet in ironed shirt and corduroys, when he calmly threw up what seemed like everything he had eaten in the past week all over me and himself.

What to do? Well after coming all this way, we had to go to the party, just five minutes walk away. We washed him and me down, found fresh clothes (Thank goodness for a glamourous looking cheap gold top from target I had thrown in at the last minute, and my black work trousers). Once there we ensconced the vomitty one with his dad in the darkened lobby with a roll of paper towels, and then took it in turns staying with our sick little boy. Geekybaby is such a trouper, he was quite calm and relaxed as long as he had someone to snuggle, and dozed off between bouts of sickness and yucky diapers.

Geekygirl and her cousins had a whale of a time, fueled by cake and disco music and my brother the fairground ride (never start spinning small kids around at a party unless you plan on doing it all night). Though the lack off attention from her parents combined with all the excitmenet led to a wet pants incident, and a change into the only spare clothes I had, her brothers dinosaur T shirt and leggings! By the end of the party Geekybaby was better, and even socialized a little before we staggered home. The only family member still in his or her original party outfit was Geekydaddy.

It was a wonderful occasion, family and friends of my parents all gathered to wish them well. I only wish I been able to enjoy a little more of it.

Sunday was a wonderful family day, my sisters three girls (aged 5, 3 and 10 months) and our two ran riot around the house, raiding the chocolate biscuit tin and becoming best friends, breaking up, and become best friends again every 30 minutes, while we adults indulged in wine and lunch and conversation. On Monday the bone chilling British drizzle was broken by a lovely sunny day, which was just as well since we had planned a trip to a local farm/childrens playground with my sister and I's oldest friend, Lucy, who grew up a few houses away and now has two girls aged 4 and almost 2. We ran around after our kids and caught up on each other lives in snatched moments of conversation between petting sheep, preventing kids from eating sheep food, and supervising them hurling themselves down the most fantastic helter skelter, an entertainment that would surely be banned in the US due to potential lawsuits.

The weekend would have been perfectly completed by the lovely takeaway curry we enjoyed that night, had geekybaby's vomitting disease not infected me and kept me up all night regurgitating it. Exhausted, but no longer throwing up, we set off for the airport, the children so sad to leave this newly beloved haven that is Grandma and Grandads house.

We were all checked in and ready to head through to the waiting are to collapse and let the kids terrorize fellow passengers, when a security alert has us evacuate the terminal! Fortunately I had one set of small toys not yet broken into, and was able to keep the peace by offering some Dora the explorer action figures and some of grandmas sweeties to our superb junior travellers. Whatever happened it was soon over, and we were led back in as efficiently as we were herded out. And 11 long hours and many watches of "Dora saves the ice princess" later we were back in San Francisco.

I'll end this post with my favourite moment from the speech my siblings and I gave at the party. Here's a picture we showed of my sister and I with my folks spending, and I paraphrase what my sister said "one of many weekend afternoons spend sitting outside a pub. Of course if it was raining my parents would go into the pub and leave us in the car, with a bottle of fizzy pop and a packet of crisps and strict instructions not to touch the handbrake"

swimming, swimming in the swimming pool

The Geekyinlaws' lovely home in South Africa had a pool. It took several days of cautiously splashing on the steps, but eventually Geekygirl embraced the water, and went "into the deep", as she described it when supported by Daddy or Mummy. Her love of the pool was enhanced by the impulse purchase by her grandmother of a fancy new swimsuit. I had finally managed to find cute sun protective swimsuits online before we left (for some reason, even here in Sunny California it is not possible to find swimsuits in stores in December), but on an outing with her grandparents to the estate shop, Geekygirl convinced her grandmother to buy her another suit, a much fancier bright orange and purple frilly shorts and top suit with a dolphin on it. The girl is going to be quite a shopper, I can tell. When confronted with a rack of clothes, she will leaf through excitedly, pulling items forward and exclaiming "look at this, this is sooo beautiful, Mummy, this would look so pretty on me".

Now that we are back home, Geekygirl has her fancy swimsuit to wear, and nowhere to where it. Of course we have nice public pools here, but the sad fact of 'dual working parent with two kid' life is that finding the time and energy to take the kids swimming has not happened yet. We used to take Geekygirl when she was a baby, but with the both of them it just hasn't happened. There always seem to be other things to do on the weekend.

Since swimming classes are a good intention that may take some time to be acted upon, in the mean time I'm thankful for a child with a vivid imagination. The jet lag induced bed hopping that was going on last week caused us to succumb to something we have never actually done in the last 3 years of child rearing, kicking Daddy onto the couch. Nights are chilly now, so we had pulled out a sleeping bag. A bright blue one.

The following morning, I stepped out of my shower to hear "Don't fall in the deep, Mummy". My foot had landed upon the sleeping bag, now spread out across the dining room floor. Geekygirl and several of her dolls, all attired in swimwear, were "swimming" on the sleeping bag! All week, Geekygirl has been exchanging her pajamas for her swimsuit every morning, and jumping into her "pool". It is only with a lot of persuasion I can get her into regular clothes in order to get out of the house for daycare!

I suppose we really should take them swimming. Or maybe our next door neighbours will let her have a dunk in their hot tub?!

An evil petting zoo?!

While in South Africa, we had a family outing to a kid's farm. I know, Africa conjures up images of lions, elephants, giraffes and other fabulous beasts, not livestock, but the safari experience was not to be for the Geekyfamily. The game parks in South Africa, all at least a day's drive from where we were staying, are in parts of the country where malaria is endemic. Small children and breast feeding mothers can't safely take antimalarials, and besides, the kids would probably be eyed by any savvy lion as tasty little morsels, so we missed out on the lions, and chalked this one up to "things that we couldn't do because we have kids and to be held against them when, as teenagers, they make unreasonable parental requests".

Instead, I joined my South African cousins and their children on a trip to "Flag Animal Farm". As family attractions go, this was actually a very lovely one. Post and rail fences surrounded green pastures filled with impossibly glossy and plump donkeys, goats and cows, the scene was Disney style bucolic. The smaller animals (anything small enough to get under the lower rung of pasture fences, which were about 2 feet from the ground) wandered freely, mingling with the guests. Tiny piglets, baby goats, ducks - proper white story book ones, and colorful roosters and chickens all roamed around between the bounce house, the lunch tables and the pony rides.

The piglets and goats liked to be petted, and also fed from the bag of bran we were given as part of our entry fee. Geekygirl is cautious of new things, and there had been a lot of new things on this trip, new people, new bed, new food, but after a wander around the farm she became bold enough to approach some of the animals. One attraction was a brood of fluffy little chicks and their mother hen. They roamed around between the lunch tables, peeping and pecking. When the chicken family stopped beneath our table Geekygirl asked "can I feed them?". Delighted by her burgeoning enthusiasm, I relied "Sure" and gave her a handful of the animal fodder. As I reached for my camera and she went to sprinkle the food, disaster struck. Momma hen, maybe feeling that her babies were threatened, charged and pecked at Geekygirl, and in the blink of an eye we went from adorable photo moment to chicken attack meltdown. (maybe I should have been focused less on photography and more on parenting).

The chicken inflicted minimal actual damage (though it did draw a speck of blood, nasty creature), but emotionally, the afternoon was over. Geekgirl was afraid to go anywhere else on the farm, for fear that the chicken was after her. We decided that at this point a pony ride probably wasn't a good idea, so headed back to the house.

Considering all of the things that she could have been bitten by in Africa (just on the estate we had the option of green or black mambas, giant spiders and scorpions), I guess we were lucky that all we encountered was a disgruntled chicken at what will be known forever more as "The evil petting zoo".

jet lag

I don't appreciate the biological mystery of the internal body clock, until it gets completely out of whack. Adult humans were not really designed to travel between time zones, and babies and toddlers even less so. South Africa is 10 hours ahead of US Pacific time, which is basically completely topsy turvey. Night is day. Babies and toddlers don't understand. It is clear in our house that our two kids have very different internal clock biology, and science is starting to show us that the control of our circadian rhythms has a strong genetic component. I think our two got a very different set of sleep genes.

I'm probably stark raving bonkers from the lack of decent sleep, as instead of tearing my hair out, I'm using this recovery period as an opportunity to ponder on the biology of sleep. Actually, being the parent of two small kids is like having jet lag all the time, so though my mental processes feel like wading through treacle today, I am have become quite accustomed to functioning in this state. I'm so used to coping without sleep, that when I finally get geekybaby sleeping through the night (his new years resolution, though he does not know it yet), and have all my mental capacities back (well assuming there is no permanent damage, which is optimistic) I will probably be able to cure diabetes, HIV and cancer with my brilliance.

Helping the geekykids through the jetlag is an interesting challenge. Geekygirl is a sleeper. She likes to sleep and will even put herself to bed if she feels tired. I will sometimes wonder where she is only to find she has decided to get in bed and take her nap. This normally fantastic quality makes dealing with Jet lag very hard. Being forced to stay awake during the new "day", is torture for her. She goes down for her nap and getting her up again is like waking the dead. At the best of times she is grumpy after nap time, right now she takes ages to wake up, and complains of being cold, her core body temperature having cooled since her body clock is saying "nightime". In the mornings she is normally a great waker, springing out of bed full of chatter. This is now happening in the middle of the night. I have lost count of the number of times last night I heard "Is it wake up time mummy? (over and over at 9.30pm, 11.00pm, 2.00am, 4.00am....). She is also starving when she wakes, a huge consumer of breakfast, so is now ravenous in the middle of the night. Last night I resorted to giving her dry cheerios in bed and letting her play in her room at 2.00am.

Geekybaby however is a very light sleeper. I don't think he has ever in his 11 months of life slept more than about 8hrs at a stretch. Actually I think his sleep on the flight from San Francisco to London was one of his longest ever! He takes his naps happily, and goes to sleep easily, but is also easily roused. He is one of those babies that though he falls asleep in the car, he wakes as soon as it stops and can never be moved, sleeping, from car to stroller and stroller to bed, like geekygirl can. However he always wakes happy, and can function on less sleep. So at the moment he is waking every 2 hrs at night, which is more often than usual, but not much, and he is reasonably cheerful during the daytime, even though he is clearly tired. It is his bowels that are causing the most problems though, we had to change two poopy diapers between the hours of 10pm and 4.00am last night.

With the striking differences in sleep habits between my two, made more apparent here by this time zone experiment, I'm a strong believer that biology has as much impact on children's sleep habits as parenting, and I don't think most of the "sleep solution" books out there recognize this.

Here's hoping for a better night of sleep tonight

home sweet home

We are back in San Francisco, after our epic trip. San Francisco to Durban is a 22,000 mile round trip. The circumference of the earth is 24,901.55 miles, so we have traveled the equivalent of half way around the world and back. If there is any kind of medal for performing this feat with two children under the age of three we deserve it. And if there isn't, well there should be. Actually the ones who really deserve the medals are the intrepid tiny travellers themselves, who did incredibly well, remaining in good spirits and good temper though three flights, from tropical warmth to freezing London and finally back to temperate and sunny California.

Geekybaby must be the worlds best travelling baby. he decided that "smile at everyone, and see if they smile back" was the greatest game in the world, and thanks to the large bulkhead space on our London to San Francisco leg, he was able to sit on the floor and play with the contents of the seat pocket for hours (not sure why I bothered with packing a bag of toys really). I am glad I packed a change of clothes though, since he had a bit of a blow out, too much variation in baby cuisine (Maybe I'll post later about the fascinating differences in babyfood between continents!). And geekgirl managed to pee through a diaper, requiring an outfit change also (another future post will be about the difference in diaper quality between nations).

The only kink in our carefully planned traveling was that Jo burg airport does not give you your stroller at the gate. Our hand baggage distribution was absed upon having the stroller with us at all times. For security reasons the flight crew and gate staff are not allowed down on the tarmac in Joburg, so strollers are sent to the carousel. We had a lot of carry on bags, geekdaddy labouring under two car seats and a back pack, and me with geekybaby in the ergo carrier, the diaper bag on one shoulder, and a large, awkward to carry duffle (which earned the nickname "the bag of rocks") containing toys, books, coloring equipment, change of clothes, babyfood, snacks, personal DVD player etc, on the other. This left no one with a free hand to carry geekgirl, so she had to walk the miles of moving walkways between the domestic and international terminals of the joburg airport. She did great, and became an expert at negotiang these. Whenever she saw one she would exclaim "I am good at these, let me go first" (in fact I think we maybe gave her a little to much encouragement, because even when we had the stroller, and were trying to move quickly, she wanted to jump out at every moving walkway and walk it herself. Even if it was going in the wrong direction!).

But at 4.30 yesterday we landed in San Francisco. All the bags made it this time (one had missed the Joburg-London flight, but it arrived at Heathrow in time to get checked on to the San Francisco flight), the shuttle arrived speedily to take us to our car, and we were back in the city by 6.05. Five minute too late to pick up our animals, which I was a little sad about.

I'm always very relieved to find the house intact after being gone for so long. I always walk around all the rooms to reconnect with the house. It was very cold, and took a while to warm up, and I still felt a bit disconnected when we went to bed last night. Now we are dealing with jet lag (Geekdaddy and the kids got up at 12.30am to have 'breakfast" and play for 2 hours before going back to bed for intermittent sleep). I picked up the animals this morning, Geekydog was so delighted to see me. I'm sure the cats were too. With all the animals back where they belong the house felt like home again. As I busied myself with unpacking, I found a big grin breaking out on my face for the first time after getting back. We did it!

..and an Engish Christmas in Africa

The Christmas marathon continued with presents from Santa, and a large family dinner, with all the extended family, many of whom I had not yet met, South Africa being a very long trek from San Francisco. Us early risers were charged with preparing the table for the dinner (21 seated to eat), along with the housekeeper. I haven't quite got used to the idea of having servants, but "cookie", a sweet indian woman who comes every weekday to clean and do laundry, is very sweet, and certainly makes our lives easier. Labour is cheap here, and all middle class folk of any race employ help in the house. (the kids, always early birds, are getting up atound 5.00am here, which is slightly denting the 'relaxing vacation' concept.)

The sight of her stocking stuffed wth gifts brought great excitment from geekygirl, though we did persuade her to down a bowl of "strawberry pops" before the unwrapping frenzy began. (every single breakfast cereal here seems to be sugar coated. I eventually found a Cheerio like brand, called Oatees, but even these innocent and wholesome looking cereal circles were coated in a veneer of sugaryness. I find going to the supermarket in different countries to be endlessly fascinating. Here there are many unfamiliar brands. In this age of globalization one tends to find many of the same products everywhere, but the forced isolation of South Africa by international sanctions forced it to develop its own version of almost everything. Though apparently not heathly breakfast cereal!)

As I hoped, Geekgirl was enthralled with her new baby doll, Christened after a whole day of consideration as "Hannah". She retreated into several hours of fantasy play, and allowed me the luxury of a bit of time with my book!

When she woke from a very deep present stimulated nap, the house was filled with guests. Geekygirl is wary of new people, so was rather overwhelmed. Geekybaby, however, loves everyone, and was passed arund from pillar to post, lighting up the room with his baby smile, despite the yellow crusts around his eyes. Poor guy developed a nasty cold after the trip, one of the downsides of taking a curious ten month old who puts everytihng in his mouth on three consecutive flights.

Two of the new comers though were Nikki and Sasha, boys aged 5 and 3. It did not take long for Geekygirl to become the boss of them, engaging them in a hilarious game of kiss chase. "I chase you then I kiss you".

The afternoon had a scary mment though. This houe is on a golf course, green and beautiful, and very civilized. It doesn't really feel like Africa, until the electricity goes out (every couple of days), the water goes out (just once so far), and the plumbing fails (a couple of times on the trip). The other thing that gives a tase of the exotic is the local pests; monkeys! Just as squirrels may run around in an ordinary estate, the monkeys raom free here. They are adorable little beasts with long long tails. The children are fascinated, geekybaby demonstrating his pointing skills at the fantastic creatures.

Geekgirl was so enamoured of them on Chritsmas evening that she walked backwards of the high patio in the courtyard, losing her footing and tumbling down 5 steep concrete steps. I thrust geekybaby into the arms of the nearest relative and grabbed her, my heart in my mouth. I waved off the attentions of the gaggle of well meaning great aunts, who geekygirl was not very keen on anyway, and definately did not want to be fawned over in her terrified state. Fortunately she was unscratched, and this was confirmed by a cousin who is a doctor. Within a few minutes she was back to running around with the boys as if nothing had happened.

It was certainly a Christmas day to remember

A Danish Christmas in Africa

The Christmas celebrations are over, we are knee deep in toys, generously given by the many new relations I have met, but making me nervous about how much our already laden bags can hold for the journey home, and living of tasty leftovers.

Christmas with the Geeky inlaws is a multi faceted affair. We are in South Africa, the native country of my father in law. His heritige is British, and so are the Christmas traditions. (The white folk in South Africa are of two basic stock, British, the descendents of colonialists, and Afrikaans, people of dutch descent who have their own language and culture. Despite the many years since the end of apartheid, south Africans still identify strongly with their own cultural group, and make the others the butts of jokes. The Afrikaaners seem to get the short end of the stick). My mother in law is Danish though, and the 'Jul' traditions of that country are very different. So we got to do all of it:

On the 24th we all had to sit and sing around the tree (Artifical. Apparently they once tried to get a real tree here, but ended up with some kind of tropical plant that bore no resemblance to a Christmas tree and whose branches did not hold up to the baubles, so it was a very sorry sight). Then gifts were exchanged. Geekybaby had retired for the night, the poor guy has had a nasty cold, but Geekgirl was very enthusiastic, both at giving and getting. Her enthusiasm affected the whole room, with her "What do you have"? "Who is this for?" "Open it, Open it, Open it", More presents, there are still more presents!". My brother inlaws girlfriend has her seventeen year old son here too. He is of course too cool to get all into presents...until he opens a box containing "guitar hero III, legends of rock", and he turned back into a little boy! Actually so did we all. Everyone should share Christmas with a three year old for the sheer joy and wonder of gift opening, and with a seventeen year old so that you can play "Guitar hero", and awesomly cool game. And I am not a gamer. I know what Geekydaddy is getting for his 40th birthday now!

Dinner came after presents, the Danish traditional roast duck, steamed red cabbage (sweetended with currants and cooked in wine), and boiled potatoes coated in sugar, followed by rice pudding with cherry sauce. Geekgirl tried to stay up for dinner, and sat exitedly at the big table, but after a couple of mouthfuls said "I'm just going to take a little rest. Then I come back". So sweet! I put her to bed, and not surprisngly she fell asleep immediately, and slept until morning, awaiting the next present marathon, the much anticipated visit from Santa Claus.

Shopping

I'm stealing a few moments while Geekygirl watches her new sesame street DVD, and Geekybaby sleeps, to share a few stories form the past few days.

The estate where Geekdaddy's parents live is on a golf course, right on the Indian ocean. Surrounded by a large electric fence. It is quite a long way from any ameneties, so any trip to the shops must be well planned, since you can't just pop back if you forget something. On December 24th, Grandpa, Geekydaddy and geekgirl were sent out on a mission to pic up the floral centerpieces for the Christmas lunch table. They also had a laundry list of other, less importtant items to collect.

They went to the shopping center in Bellito, a modern affair very similar to a mall in the US, and the only shops for the myriad of developments that are springing up along this section of the Durban coast. Geekgirl, Grandma and I had been there a couple of days before and I had been surprised by the bland cleanness of it. Apart from the stores selling carved giraffes, it didn't feel very African at all. Until we went to the "Wimpy' bar; fast food, but with table service, a bounce house, and roving nannies who swoop your kids off to play and bring them back when you call!

Considering the history of this country, I was impressed by how egalitarian it seemed, that both the store assistants and the shoppers were a mixture of white, black and Indian people (back in the 1800's, the British brought Indians here to work as servants and under apartheid there were four racial classifications, white, black, Indian and 'colored' - mixed race).

Anyway, After queueing to get in to the center, and circling for parking, our shoppers found a spot and completed the purchasing. Grandpa had just relinquished the coveted parking spot when Geekgirl, peering into the back of the car said "Where are the flowers?". Yes, they had forgotten the one thing that was mission critical! Two grown men and it takes a not quite 3 year old girl to remember what they actually went to the shops for! So another parking spot was found, and the flowers were collected. Geekygirl saved the day, and Grandpa's ass.

the longest journey

I'm blogging here from the beautiful 'rainbow nation' of South Africa. It's in the high 80's here, with a warm breeze blowing in from the Indian ocean, which I can see from the window here in my father in law's office. It is great to finally be here. It is a very long way from San Francisco. The trip was beyond exhausting, but really went about as well as one could expect. The whole geekyfamily can now be considered seasoned travellers, so I thought I would share a few tips for traveling half way across the world with a baby and an almost three year old:

1. Use Skypark, or equivalent. Take your own car to the airport, and use an off airport parking company that shuttles you right to the terminal, and has people to help with your mounds of luggage. Buses are as exotic as airplanes to our kids, the evil automobile being our main mode of transport, so we started out on an exciting note!

2. Pack as light as you possibly can. We booked seats for the kids (which I am so grateful for being able to do. Though despite having their own seats we both had a kid asleep on our lap for at least part of a flight), which meant we had a lot of baggage allowance, but of course babies cannot tote their own bags.

3. Use car seats on the plane. Much safer, and the kids are used to sleeping in them. We have the radian 80 seats that fold up and come with a shoulder strap, so though they are heavy, they are much less bulky to carry than the regular seats. Our two, amazingly, slept all the way from San Francisco to London.

4. Break up your journey. Instead of jumping straight on another 10 hour flight to Johannesburg, we spent one night in London. My lovely sister and her family live close to Heathrow, so we had a great 24hrs there. Geekygirl got some bonding time with her cousins (they even slept in the same bed), and we got to catch up and relax before steeling ourselves for the next leg of the journey.

5. Fly South African Airlines. Probably this only works if you are flying to Africa, but they were so awesome. Full interactive entertainment system, yummy food and free booze, (really nice south african red wine). They provided baby food, kids fun packs, and give you socks and eye masks and tiny toothbrushes (in a zebra striped pouch!). It was flying like it used to be before all the airlines went bankrupt.

6. Don't fly to Johannesburg from London over the holidays. There are many many South african ex pats. Most of them go home for the holidays. There are only about 5 immigration desks at Johannesburg international airport. We were the last people off the plane, and found ourselves at the back of an insanely long line. Well not really a line, more like a mob. For some reason, though we gate checked out stroller, it was not given to us at the gate in Joburg. And it was miles and miles of walking to get to the baggage claim. Luckily I had a baby carrier (an essential on any trip), but poor Geekygirl had to walk the whole way, since her dad and I were laden with bags. Another tip, practice carrying your carry on bags for half a mile, then decide exactly how many board books, toys, encyclopedias and barbells you really and truly need on the flight! On no account, though, remove the life saving portable DVD player and its extra battery, however much they may weigh. I borrowed one of these treasures at the last minute, having been reminded that its all very well getting the kids their own seats and their own TV, but often the programming does not include "Clifford the big red dog", or "Charlie and Lola".

7. Accept help. A couple of uniformed staff (very important in Jo burg to only accept help from the official people, apparently) saw our plight, and overheard us say that our connecting flight to Durban was in 1 hour. We were probably a good hour away from getting to the front of the immigration line, and then still had to collect our checked bags, re check them through to Durban and get over to the domestic terminal, so the prospect of making that connection was looking rather grim. These fabulous guys whizzed us through passport control, found our bags and shouldered some of the burden, rechecked them for us, jumping the queue due to what looked like some serious flirting with one of the ground staff, and then took us through the flight crew security instead of the passenger one. We made it with 10 minutes to spare!

8. Break the rules. Toddler only allowed pacifier and blanky for bedtime and car rides? Those are our rules but I added on planes, in airports and at any time during transit. But be warned, Blankies, those threatening objects, must be surrendered to the X ray machine. Mind you, the amount of filthy floors they have been dropped on between American and Africa, they probably are a biohazard by now.

9. Be prepared for the mother of all tantrums when the rules must be re-enforced. Having been a true trooper of a traveller, Geekygirl finally lost it completely when I took the paci away today. I think its her way of releasing all the stress of the last few days, and I'm grateful she saved her meltdown for the safety of our temporary home.

10. Take a tiny camera that fits in your jeans pocket, and take lots of pictures documenting the whole trip, not just the kodak moments. I'm planning on making a photo book for the kids, telling the story of this trip. Though they are too young to really remember it properly, I think a book will recharge those memories and keep them alive.

'tis the season

This year the geekyfamily are heading to South Africa for a southern hemisphere Christmas with Geekydaddy's parents and extended family. We're excited about this of course, but the closer our departure date comes, the more daunted I feel by the thought of taking a 9 month old and an almost 3 year old half way across the world, spending over 20 hours on airplanes. We are breaking our trip after the first of our three flights, spending a night with my family at my sister's house in London. We will get to meet her latest addition, baby Sophie, and Geekgirl and Geekybaby will get to spend some time with their cousins. Then we hit the air again with another 10 hour flight to Johannesberg, followed by a short hop to Durban.

I apologize in advance to anyone unfortunate enough to be seated near us on any of these flights!

Though geekygirl enjoyed opening her presents last year, and mastered the word 'presents' in the process, this will be the first year she can anticipate the visit of Santa Claus (or Father Christmas, as we would call him back on the UK and in South Africa). We are not religious, and in fact Geekydaddy is quite the Scrooge, would happily do without Christmas altogether. I however embrace my inner hypocrite, and really like to celebrate the holiday. I'm comfortable separating the peace, love and giving part from the the baby Jesus coming to save the world part, and want to create our own traditions for the kids.

So, this means that Santa's presents must be transported half way across the world, without the benefit of flying reindeer. To cut down on bulk, I removed Santa's bounty from its packaging. I'm thinking this was a good idea anyway, since I needed wire cutters to get her new doll out of its box, and this may have caused some frustration on Christmas morning. Santa has been asked for a new baby doll. I had looked at very beautiful, lifelike and stupidly expensive dolls, and almost bought one, then came to my senses as I realized that one of Geekygirls favourite dolls is my old "tiny tears" circa 1972, with her matted hair and marker pen decoration. So Instead I sensibly picked up a nice, inexpensive, "little mommy" doll, easy to dress with her soft body and lifelike with her plastic face, arms and legs, and a selection of extra outfits and accessories for her. However, as I looked at her in her box, in her jaunty purple toweling outfit and blue sneakers, I realized that she was not truly a 'baby doll'. More of a toddler doll. After unpackaging her, I decided to dress her in one of her alternate outfits, a more baby like pyjama set, and then I nestled her in the soft pink carry cot bed I'd bought for her. Somehow this made her much more like the baby doll I think geekygirl is envisioning, and I feel satisfied that she will be delighted with her new baby. I feel an inordinate amount of stress about providing perfect gifts for my sweet girl. I know that love isn't about material things, but still, I want so much to give her things that make her happy. I can feel how easy it could be to fall into the trap of gift giving excess that those clever marketing folk at the toy companies try to push on us.

I have also purchased gifts for various South African cousins who we will be meeting for the first time. For two little boys I chose fisher price "Cars the movie" shake and go vehicles. Some genius at fisher price decided that these should be sold active and ready to go, which does save that scramble for batteries, but also meant that any time these things were moved they let our an offensive, loud throaty engine roar and said things like "you can't escape the law". I had visions of our luggage getting unwanted attention if every time a bag was handled these these noisy little buggers started roaring, so I hacked them out of their little display boxes to find the off switches, and put them to sleep for the trip.

Now I just need to find the time to mail my Christmas cards, launder everything that needs to be packed, double check the kennel booking for the animals, find everyone's passports, and fill a bag of tricks to amuse the kids on the flights!